As some of you wrote on our Instagram, sometimes you need time and space before you are ready to mend things.Being too hard on ourselves and our partners can add more fuel to the fire.Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or have been married for years, we come across advice from relatives, messages from the media and popular culture, and myths mistaken for the “norm.” What’s reality? Let’s get the facts straight in order to approach our current and future relationships in the healthiest way possible. “It’s not meant to be.” “It’s meant to be.” Okay, we’re all guilty of saying this at one point or another.However, the fact is that any relationship requires work from both parties.A relationship built on one or both people presenting their “false selves” in order to be viewed in a “perfect” light makes for a very poor outcome. You may find a more mature love in a second marriage.A healthy relationship is one that encourages both parties to be their best and truest selves, flaws and all. Unfortunately, we often have expectations that merely have roots in a movie or book. The best fit and compliment for you may be the person you least expect.It takes a large dose of self-awareness, acceptance, and then willingness to take steps towards change.“As Marilyn Ferguson observed, ‘ No one can persuade another to change.
True, meaningful change comes from the inside and is intrinsically motivated.What it comes down to is our ability to stay true to ourselves and our relationships. Oh, and don't forget to follow us on Instagram: @letsmend and Snapchat: If you're a Gmail subscriber, sometimes our emails end up in the Promotions tab of your inbox.It may be helpful to consider what the common connections are within the relationship — do they all rely on physical attraction or even everyday, fun activities? If there is little to no mental or emotional connection, then maybe that’s where the relationship should be enhanced (if possible).I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends recently regarding opposites.A marriage or a child used as a catalyst for change will only complicate things. “You can’t have it all.” “One will be sacrificed — your family or your career.” Oh, the argument of the century and my favorite myth (did I mention — everyone has their own opinion, and you can feel free to disagree of course)! We’re in an world of connection, shared experiences, and interdependency — there’s greatness and a “one up” in combined potential.“The most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry. A healthy self and healthy relationship are the recipe and foundation for success.However, we both agreed that if balance is not supplemented with each person complimenting the other, then it might not be the ideal situation. “Never go to bed angry.” “The less arguments you have, the healthier the relationship.” We all have our difficult days and not everything can be resolved with a magic wand.Issues, feelings, and disagreements need to communicated and need to be talked through.The best relationship for you may not be a “click” but rather an evolution. “Everything fizzles out after you’re married.” “Marriage is supposed to be lame.” “Your wedding is the best day of your life.” In today’s culture, there is such a build up to THE WEDDING that it makes anything a day, months, or years later look similar to coming down from a high.Marriage is only a kick-off party to one of life’s greatest adventures. However, a healthy marriage will make you evolve positively and leave you energized rather than drained.