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Gay disabled dating

His written work has been highlighted in The Advocate, Huffington Post, and The Good Men Project, where he candidly discusses the realities of sex and disability as a queer cripple.

You can reach out to him on Twitter (@deliciouslydrew) and via email ([email protected]).

I must convince my lover of my sexual viability, making sure that he is fully comfortable with all that entails.

I must tell my personal care attendant a story to explain why I’m having my “friend” over at this hour. The list continues and before I can even consider enjoying myself, I feel a pressure to meticulously plan, to make sure that everything falls perfectly into place.

When I think about sex as a gay male with disabilities—a wheelchair-user, a man living with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy that causes my muscles to twist, turn, and contort in on themselves—the fantasy only lasts a second before reality hits.

Then I start to think about all that has to be done in preparation of that moment.

In fact, the best sex I ever had broke all the rules—even my own.

I want sex that isn’t based on a presumption that I “must be a bottom” because I don’t have the ability to thrust like a top “should.” I want the kind of sex that doesn’t start with risk analysis and signed waivers.

I want to be taken out of my chair, ravaged and reveled in.

The only worry that I want to have in my head is whether or not I’m waking the neighbors.

The desire for deliciously dirty, spontaneous sexual encounters is a deep-seeded one for me as a queer man with a disability.

694 comments

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