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Dolly Everett was just shy of her 15th birthday when she decided the online bullying she was enduring was too much to handle any longer. I feel gutted for Dolly’s beautiful family – how do you make sense of such a needless loss? And I feel heartbroken for every child who today is dreading the thought of going back to school later this month because school is a living hell, a place where they feel tormented and alone. But let me repeat what I said at the start of my list for teenage girls …

We need to teach our kids (but especially boys) to read people’s facial expressions and body language. ” And, of course, do lots of reading (including an equal amount of stories with female protagonists) since reading is one of the key strategies to help build empathy. Here are some great men for teenage boys to follow on social media: Nic and Lucas are what good men look like.You can’t look “up yourself’, can’t look like you’re bragging or showing off or trying too hard. And of course, she’ll have to have really good judgement about what she posts and what she LIKES and how she responds to all manner of things in her feed. * The younger you give your child a mobile phone or device, the sooner she’ll be exposed to and participate in gossip (think Skype Messenger, Whats App and even just text messaging) * There is a difference between venting and gossiping Everyone needs to vent (or debrief) when something big has happened. David called me Rubella every day and I replied every afternoon with “Shut up, moron! #goodtimes #clearlynotchoosingkindinthatmoment For something to be bullying it has to not only be repeated more than once, there also has to be a power imbalance. That said, the moment you feel “ganged up on” and/or scared is when you go to an adult in your life and let them know. Play A Team Sport Exercise is great but that’s not why I want my nieces to continue playing team sports. But all this anger and bitterness is just making things worse. Let’s cut each other a little more slack and realise that most “injustices” done to us aren’t personal and don’t require a big stick response. Think about the tone of your emails or text messages. Random spot checks on their social media is a good idea — sit with them and take a look together to see what types of conversations they’re engaging in. If you’re spreading gossip – breaking confidences – at work or school — you are part of the problem. I learnt a great tip from Jono Nicholas from Reach Out last year. My purpose is to help teen girls (and their parents) navigate high school friendships, have a more positive experience online and understand that despite what society tells them they are enough just as they are.Every like, every share, every mean-spirited off-hand comment become part of your online legacy. True friends won’t spread your confidences as gossip (creating enormous turmoil for you). There wasn’t a power imbalance between David and me. Research shows that playing a team sport builds your self-esteem, your confidence, helps with goal setting and teaches you about team work. Take a breath before you race to admonish someone whether that’s in traffic, on court or at the school P&C. If you have an issue with someone speak to them in person or pick up the phone. He told me that sometimes it’s really hard for kids to articulate their feelings. It’s why I write books like Find Your Tribe and Ask Me Anything.He became best known to most Australians via his appearances on the marketing tv show, Gruen.These days Sampson is a documentary film maker and presenter (Body Hack).“Ahhhh, so that’s what mum served up on those nights when the cupboards were bare or she was too exhaus To say that realisation was freeing is an understatement. I hopefully embedded an important memory into my own kids’ childhood recollections of their mum. ) But in those moments in the dark she feels both loved and known and safe. I re-read her question a few times, picked up a pen and wrote back to that eight-year-old sleeping down the hallway. I said that what we know is that Instagram (and most other social media platforms) are not great for our brains. I said that just like every adult I know who still smokes and is trying desperately to give up, (nearly) every adult I know is trying desperately to spend less time on their phones and on social media. And it has a tendency to leave us feeling miserable. Anyway — here’s my advice to my two nieces Elouise and Emily and to every other tween and teen who is heading to high school next week. If you’re spending your time hanging out with girls (or boys) who routinely put you down, make fun of you and humiliate you then MOONWALK OUT OF THERE, SISTER! If you don’t like who you are and how you behave when you’re with your current friends — that’s a big red flag.In my eyes my mum had always been AMAZING and so the ‘eggs-on-toast’ revelation subconsciously gave me permission to do the same now I have kids of my own. The week featured in no particular order: a swimming carnival, a Prep Information Night, a family member in hospital and a sixth birthday (many of those on the SAME DAY) along with all the standard mayhem of three kids, a dog, homework, missing PE shorts, a dining table covered in photo frames and two exhausted working parents. But I realised that in this week where I lowered the bar even lower than usual (“It’s scrambled eggs for dinner! Every year I’ve always made my kids a birthday cake. No mention of my worries about my upcoming science test. After school my daughter’s main focus is changing out of her uniform and finding out what’s for afternoon tea. But sometimes I think even saying your worries out loud feels too hard. I signed it off by saying, “I love that you wrote to me. FYI: The mother-daughter journal I bought my daughter can be found here. source=pla&gclid=EAIa IQob Ch MIsc-b8Pf-1QIV3AMq Ch3e2w DKEAQYAy ABEg JEu PD_Bw E Or you can make your own for the tween or teen in your life Yesterday the 10-year-old daughter of a friend of mine asked me when I thought her mum should allow her to have Instagram. I said that while I TOTALLY understood that desire to stay in the loop that she needed to think about how joining Instagram she’d be trading one set of problems for another set of problems. Now you might have a tribe of five friends – terrific! *** If you are being bullied or your child is being bullied — speak up.But most of all I said that as she goes into high school I would like to see her living her life with both hands. gclid=EAIa IQob Ch MIn Pm Nzf3a2AIVUgwr Ch10RQ_1EAAYASAAEg Kod PD_Bw E 3. This is the great secret to enjoying high school which I wish someone had told me at the time. ” can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and school. When there’s a students versus teachers basketball match on at lunchtime – GO. But girls are girls and I can certainly recall it wasn’t all rainbows and lollipops. But I was lucky that home was a haven and a respite if I’d had a bad day. The internet was yet to come to Chapel Hill, Brisbane. General on-court agro as though we’re playing for sheep stations. Are you mocking other people in front of your kids? They came to me and said this initiative isn’t about financial services. It’s a group of organisations coming together to ask: How can we help young girls feel confident? If, like me, you want our daughters, our granddaughters, our nieces and goddaughters to feel confident in their own skin, to have the skills to navigate high school friendships, to know how to tap into that inner grit when life throws them a curveball, to back their opinions and their ambitions and to support each other to be the best they can be – well, congratulations and welcome to #Team Girls. https://au/articles/ – The Denise and Bruce Morcombe Safety App.It sounds hokey but it can help you feel safe and cared about. By letting the teachers get to know you, you’ll in turn feel like you’re part of something an belong. People Can Be Jerks But That’s Not Bullying When I was in year 8, every afternoon as I walked to the bus stop a boy in my class would yell out, “See you, Rubella! In 2018, thousands of Australian kids cannot find that elusive peace and we all know why. I LOVE playing social netball but the bad behaviour, the UNSPORTING behaviour is at times mind-blowing to me. Are you inclusive often inviting new people to join your group? Download this app for 99cents and any person can call for help at the push of a button.But there’s only so much schools can do as they try to get to know all the students. All those shiny devices and social media platforms we’ve rushed to hand over to our kids – kids who have yet to build up their empathy muscle or understand the consequence of their behaviour – mean that bullying is now a round-the-clock occupation for some angry and hurting teens. Story after story told to me about GROWN WOMEN embarking on full-scale bullying campaigns against other mothers. “The ‘Help Me’ button sounds a warning and allows you to send off an SMS text to two (2) nominated ‘safety’ numbers, as part of your Trusted Safety Network. Am I missing something because I’ve just spent close to two weeks trawling the net and it’s disheartening to see how little is out there.They are waging online bullying campaigns for little reason other than they think a fellow student is too up herself or lame or a loser or doesn’t wear the right clothes or listen to the right music. Included in the text are GPS co-ordinates from where the text was sent, so the sender can be located or a last known place of contact is indicated.”, are experts in sexting and the law, and can provide free legal advice for anyone under 18, or anyone acting on their behalf. Go searching for inspiring, uplifting books, websites and docos for teenage girls and you’ll be drowning in content. From websites like — there are hundreds and hundreds of choices all designed to inspire our girls, remind them of their worth and help them navigate those tricky high school years. And I’m not sure the “boys don’t read” argument really cuts it anymore. The good news is there are loads of great men to follow on social media — 21st century men who show us what it looks like to be a good man: a good person, a good colleague, a good boyfriend, a good friend, a good father, a good husband. It’s subjective but to me it means a man who has integrity, who knows what they stand for, who contributes to their community (school, uni, work) in a positive way, who sees women as equals and champions their fight for equality.


  1. About Brenna Hicks Previous to becoming a full-time Mom, Brenna ran a highly successful Child Therapy Private Practice. Brenna

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