Now I went to spin classes, barre classes, and a gym boot camp.
I met with a personal trainer and planned out a way to reach my fitness goals. But the trainers at the gym recognize me, and a few even know me by name. Downsides: If you choose to use food as a means to cope with a breakup, do so with a friend.
I bought myself new bathing suits and went to the beach. I went to cast parties and had a snuggle pile on a damp lawn with other tipsy theater kids. I went out to gay bars and embraced my bisexuality, distancing myself from my previous relationship and reasserting my queer identity. I wore my shortest skirts, highest heels, and reddest lipstick. I got number after number, smiled as widely as I could, and left the clubs exhausted, sore, satisfied, and solo. After my breakup, I extended friendship feelers in all directions.
I tried all sorts of things, from reconnecting with old friends to blocking my ex on every single social media channel imaginable.
Here’s a list of everything I tried, along with an honest assessment of how each one worked for me.
I also wanted to know how my experiences lined up with the scientific consensus on what helps people get over breakups, so I asked relationship researchers to weigh in on my list.
One of these particularly low moments, I scared myself into anger — at my ex, at myself, at this entire stupid situation.
How dare he not fight harder for this relationship?